I learn so much from what I do, and what I feel I really totally now ‘get’ is that infertility comes in many forms, but there is always one clear theme and it can create overlaps into the other categories. Medics talk about unexplained infertility, or male factor etc. For me there are three simple categories, one will be the biggy, the dominant theme and then there will most likely be an undercurrent of one or more of the others. Understanding where you are at will be a huge keep in resolving your situation.
So what are these categories? (I hear you cry….)
Emotional / psychological infertility
Each of these bring the same common feelings associated with longing for your own baby and we all know how that feels, but we all have our own story and it is my job to work yours out and help you get to the turning point where it all comes together.
For some of my clients it is so simple and quick, even to the point where I send one email or make one phone call and it pushes the right button so they instantly fall pregnant. For others it is middling like trek and we have to work in a variety of ways to pull it all together. For some it’s a mammoth oh my God holy moly humdinger of a journey (usually these are my juicy great big spirit lessons ladies).
So what exactly am I talking about here? Well, let me explain the categories and give you some examples then you might catch what I am saying.
There is a big reason why things aren’t happening such as blocked tubes, male factor issues, endometriosis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome etc etc etc. Physical issues can be the first and obvious thing to crop up and for many it is simply about getting that sorted and finding the right treatment and solution. In this case I do often feel that the experience changes woman and creates a new life for her where once she overcomes the physical challenge her life will feel more blessed.
Sometimes a physical reason presents itself to lead us on the infertility path which will also involve emotional and spiritual experiences. For example this was very much my story first time around – a physical reason forced me to go a different route that opened up all sorts of other doors. Granted infertility often also feels like doors get slammed in your face… but however awful we feel we can still muster up the energy we need to carry on and do what needs doing. Pretty soul strengthening stuff.
For others they can find physical problems are created as a result of emotional or spiritual reasons. If things need healing / learning / resolving then our bodies will manifest physical issues in order to delay us further and show us we are heading away from the direction we need to go in. Periods may go bonkers and things just gently begin to go out of whack.
Also, sometimes overcoming a physical issue in a truly miraculous way can change a person’s entire outlook. For example, having awful blood results then magically becoming pregnant certainly makes you view the world differently – and maybe that was your path.
This is a biggy, and there is quite a spectrum. At the lower end of the spectrum people may need to let go of things that are holding them back or allow themselves to soften in order to create the bigger picture. Often I am finding that it is the souls of the children themselves who are pushing for change within us, they need us to work and reach out, or to change our judgements in order to be able to accommodate them. For example I have known women who I just know their children are there, but they are too anxious to come in because perhaps their parents are very hard on themselves and often fairly perfectionist. The more sensitive souls can feel they won’t be able to be good enough.
On a bigger scale there are huge spiritual lessons that infertility can push us to, and the need and want to have a baby will motivate us to do pretty much anything. Sometimes that is what is needed, for us to truly step into our power and take risks or let go of old patterns in order to fully liberate ourselves.
Of course the other spiritual reason is that you are waiting to have a rainbow baby. I have spoken about these special souls before and how they are beginning to come in now to bring more peace, balance and harmony into the world. If you are preparing for one of these babies then you will be going through quite an initiation right now. To read more about rainbow children click here.
Emotional / Psychological Infertility
This is when something in you is holding back, or needs love and support before your body is able to allow pregnancy to take place again. This happens commonly following something difficult or traumatic. I see it often in women who have had an abortion in the past and still feel a lot of guilt and heart ache over it (even unconsciously sometimes). I also see it in women who have had a difficult labour or post natal experience previously, or have suffered with loss or stress.
So when I say that it’s not what you do so much as the intention with which you are doing them, this is what I mean. Yes the physical issues need addressing and supporting, but the other elements also need help. Sometimes doing a physical action will heal the emotional, for example taking a pre natal vitamin and drinking fruit smoothies may be helping your egg quality and fertility health, but by doing it you are also supporting your body instead of fighting against it. This can feel really good, and if it begins to assist your mental well being then its physical effect will be much bigger than it would have been.
So how do you find the right mix for you? How do you work it out?
- Follow your heart. Listen to your instincts and do what feels right. Always.
- Get some help and support, find someone who resonates with you and work it out with them. There are many routes to figuring this stuff out such as:
Reiki, Counselling, Hypnotherapy, Acupuncture, Angel cards, Meditation, diary writing, talking to friends. and the list goes on and on. Once you are openly wondering and asking to know rest assured the clues and the assistance will come.
You are aiming to ‘feel’ your way to your pregnancy. When you ‘feel’ deep inside yourself that the actions you are taking feel right and helpful then you can begin to believe they will work. You need to keep tabs on yourself that you are being 100% kind to yourself 100% of the time. That is absolutely key to this. be nice to your body and be good to your heart. Sometimes you can figure out the first bit then you need help with the second.
There have been times I have totally felt a lady has come such a long way and her energy and emotions are perfect. Then if it still doesn’t happen I then know we also have to add in extra physical stuff. For example, many people with ‘unexplained infertility’ will go on to have successful IVF with no obvious reason why. I believe there are many intricate physical measures that cannot be looked at or tested for, but which will respond to IVF. For these people they still may have needed to sort out their other ‘theme’ but once that is all in place their IVF should work beautifully. And for others it simply is a physical thing and the IVF will work when ever they do it.
When I work with ladies I am always reading them, without having to work at it or look weird and starry I just kind of use my instincts and let them guide me as to what a person needs. It is always so different and that’s why I love it. I love mixing all the science and the practical with all the awesome healing and spiritual stuff. It’s a gorgeous mix. My own personal experience with my pregnancies was what started all of this, all those years ago and so I guess it makes sense that so many of you have been asking me;
“So, Lucy how about you having another baby? Will you do that?”
I have been pregnant twice in my life and I have one gorgeous healthy 4 year old son who was the result of a physical infertility that had a huge emotional undercurrent. Putting it all together revealed there was also a great spiritual meaning behind both my experiences.
I adore my job and I know that it is a great love in my life. Being able to live my life and at the same time help others to find their individual paths has fed me well for the past 4 years. The thought of going back to the wonderings and the workings out and the obsessions that trying for babies can bring filled me with dread and I put it off for a long time. It just wasn’t the right time for me and I didn’t feel ready or inclined to put the energy in that I knew would be required. But then the little door started tapping and those broody niggles turned into a heartfelt desire to invite another life into mine. I knew it would be a weird thing for me, to go back to it and start over on another journey whilst at the same time doing my job. It made me feel kind of unprofessional, maybe not as detached as I need to be, but every single one of my fears or uncertainties has been steadily over ridden until I was left with nothing but the option of turning right at the junction and going in head first.
So I decided to share my story so far – the story of me, part two. You all know about part one, and so it seems right, (if you want to hear) that I let you know how my efforts for baby number 2 are going. It’s quite a story, and it also illustrates perfectly how it is when you have spiritual infertility with a physical undercurrent. If you would like to read it I will gladly and humbly share it with you. Click here to read.