I’m feeling angry today. I am so angry at the IVF clinics who never delve further but are happy to keep putting people through cycle after cycle. I am angry at the clinics who give out clomid like smarties to women who don’t need them, but make others who REALLY need them wait 6 months. I am angry at the doctors telling women with PCOS to lose weight before they will treat them. I am angry because those women deserve the supportive medication to help their diets actually work.
I am feeling angry because IVF clinics ask women two questions about their period and don’t ever look beyond it. I am incensed that professionals say such hurtful and confusing statements to their patients without even caring that those words will stay etched in their heads for ever.
I am irritated because even though I am bloody good at working out why IVF hasn’t worked and putting it right, even though I passionately believe in medicine most doctors would think what I do is ‘just an extra’. Like a nice fluffy touchy feely make you feel better treatment.
I am not angry because of what they would think (I don’t care!) I am angry because if they could just open their eyes and look past this one way of doing things they could help so many more women.
If they could just notice for one second that even though medicine is incredible, it isn’t more clever than the human body, and it isn’t comprehensive enough to serve on every level.
I am so sick of IVF clinics throwing in random costly extras when actually they could look a little deeper and see what is going on for a woman. That sometimes if a woman is not making enough progesterone it’s not going to help her to be given extra progesterone. That if a woman is broken inside, still bleeding from a failed treatment and on her knees emotionally it is utterly neglectful to truly expect that moving straight onto the next cycle actually has a chance of working.
If a woman’s spirit is broken then so will her body be. Pushing her body with more drugs will only cause it to shut down further. And I am angry that thanks to our society most people are only happy to listen to their doctor whether it be helpful or soul crushing.
I am angry because you all deserve more. You all deserve kind words, loving support, and most of all you deserve ALL the facts. You deserve comprehensive care and an insightful clinician who really will look everywhere at what you need in order to be both well and able to join the dots to create pregnancy.
There are things that cannot be fixed by medicine alone.
What doctors say isn’t always true.
I have wiped the floor with many a throw away “your chances are close to impossible” statement. I know with every fibre of my being that what you want you deserve to have. I also think that you have and are already going through enough already without them making it harder.
I want it to be as simple as it can.
I want you to get what I know is yours to have.
There are some incredible doctors out there and I just wish they all were. But when they aren’t and they don’t look into every nook and cranny or say the right thing rest assured I am here. Fighting that battle, looking under every stone for you.
It is possible. Everything is x x x x