For some of us the story is not straight forward. I mean, most people in their life will have the odd moment of bewilderment where all you can do is yell “plot twist” and carry on as best you can. But for a lot of us it can feel like such a long series of disappointment, heart break and turmoil.
There have been times in my life when I have laid on my bathroom floor and sobbed, begging the universe to help me understand, to show me where I am supposed to go. To help me work out why every path I take seems to lead to a dead end or a treacherous experience.
There have also been many times when I have felt utterly guided and supported to go a certain way. Sometimes it has worked out exactly as I had hoped and other times it has again led me on a somewhat difficult detour (with several plot twists in the middle).
So what is that all about? What is going on? Why do you have it harder than those around you? Why is it easy for others and so hard for you? Why do the people who have what you long for not even appreciate that they have it?
From all my own experiences so far and watching and being part of hundreds of other people’s I can tell you what it feels like to me.
We all have a part of our soul that agrees to certain things. To come here and experience certain challenges, to step up in ways we never knew we were capable and to open the door widely to children trying to find their way and to our own hearts. Our souls know stuff that we don’t. They know the other stuff that will happen later. They have the full story, so they can have the luxury of saying yes to a load of stuff that could really hurt because they also know that better stuff will be coming. They know intimate things like why a little one can’t make it all the way to earth and ends up being a miscarriage. They know what that means in the grand scheme of the pattern of your life events. They know who will be coming into your life later.
In the meantime we are down here as physical humans, being exactly that. Human. We don’t know what is coming and we don’t have any certainty. All we have is our own instinct and passion about what we want and need in any one moment.
The Universe is like a loving set of parents. It has to stand back and let us make our way. it may worry about us having made certain choices in our soul. It can’t always intervene or take away pain, but it will try to guide us, and it will scoop us up when we need it. It brings unconditional love and as much bailing out as it can muster. Sometimes it knows that little thing that only your soul knows and it watches heart broken as you endure it, knowing that it can’t tell you not to worry because it’s all going to be ok. It can only try to hold you and send you signs to keep going or to try another way.
Know that is is a reliable form of love and support and it will never leave your side even when it feels like it has. When you stop seeing it as a judgmental force that makes decisions for you and start using it as your loving home of resources and support you may find you feel a little calmer.
Your soul knows what it’s doing. Remember it knows what’s ahead, where as you don’t. I always believe too that even if we put up barriers and shut ourselves in, refusing to take the next action then the Universe will guide the right thing to your door. You won’t miss the boat and you will never get it wrong.
It will always be ok.
Even if you refuse to do anything.
With all my love,
P.s If you love exploring the spiritual side of things as well as the physical, there is a huge section on how to understand the spiritual lessons of your fertility journey along with a series of meditations within our online fertility haven of resources. We would love to have you aboard.
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