“I’m just so scared that my anxiety and stress around not being able to conceive will be a self fulfilling prophecy”
These words Cath and I hear SO often. The worry seems to be that there is a self perpetuating cycle that worrying and stressing will not only block it from happening on an energetic level but it will also cause your body to go off whack due to the increases stress hormones.
So in this blog I’m going to explain to you exactly how to stop this cycle and get rid of that crippling anxiety and fear so that you can clear that path and move forward.
1) When you are going after your life’s purpose it’s the biggest dream in your soul. Now, that right there in itself is going to bring up all of your ’stuff’. All your fears will come up. The thing is, the worry and stress around that is not the real problem. The real issue is the resistance we put up against those highly uncomfortable feelings. We push them away, we turn our backs on them and we run. All the while they get bigger and bigger and start chasing us. This creates the restriction that causes the domino effects of all the chaos.
You are allowed to feel fear and stress and worry. They are a very normal part of knowing you are on the right path.
If you have figured out what the one thing is that you need most in your life, then going after it is going to feel pretty far from zen and positive. It will be gnarly and challenging, brutal and frightening. The first thing to do when you feel this stuff is know it’s normal and ok. Turn around, invite it in and sit down next to it. Stop running away.
The minute you realise it’s not your job to stop these feelings and thoughts coming in they will instantly feel less threatening.
The law of attraction isn’t about stopping difficult feelings it’s about learning to be with them and stop them causing resistance. These feelings are actually great messengers. When we sit paralysed in the sensation of them we are refusing to hear the loving advice of our own spirit. When you actually listen to the story of these feelings they can give you the messages you need to make progress.
2) Ok so you have opened the door to them and now you are sitting with them. Breathe, my lovely one. Breathe. It’s ok. You can sit with these feelings, they come from part of you that wants to protect you, they are not bigger than you or more powerful than the love you have in your heart for your babies.
Next up, find your latch.
What do you believe in?
My latch tends to be a combination of science and philosophy. Ultimately there is very very little that cannot be overcome either through medical or natural methods. The body is an incredible piece of kit and it can repair itself in phenomenal ways. Ask yourself this:
Do you really believe that we are all here for a dose of pointless and needless suffering?
I don’t. I refuse to believe it. There’s always a story, always a route, always a reason. And it isn’t because you deserve hardship and heart ache. There has to be a point to it all. I believe we all have a potential to reach the highest outcome for our soul, and that outcome will never feel like a compromise.
Honestly I can promise you that there is a group of people out there who are already parenting or who are going to parent the most magical precious evolved children. They don’t just rock up to any old person, they work with us to make us our best selves. The journey to find them will strip you down. tear you apart and rebuild you into the most incredible version of yourself who will have a completely different life as a result of the storms you have weathered.
You are going to be a Mumma to a child who will add to you, grow you, fill you up, light you up, challenge you, fulfil you, and complete you. That’s no ordinary run of the mill experience. Time and time again I watch these stories unfold and women deal with all manner of their own blocks only to begin to flourish in time to fully dive in and experience the kind of life that is truly possible with their children.
You will be no different. You are getting where your soul most wants you to be.
When ever I feel dark and lost I remind myself – it doesn’t make sense to me that to end up with nothing is what it’s for. There must be something I’ll get out of this place and there must be a good reason my heart is insisting on the end outcome that I want. There must be a way through, and there must be some kind of insight or course change I will gain along the way.
I must say that I have been through so many dark nights of the soul that I can now say with absolute truth that they each brought to me to a better place and put me on track to something I ultimately wanted, so when ever something happens that is hard or scary I now assume it’s the universe helping me get on or stay on the right path (more on that theory in another blog).
3) Ok so you have a latch, something you believe in that sits right with you.
Now find things that soothe it. It could be facts that are reassuring or it could be affirmations that bridge the gap to a calmer feeling place such as:
I like the idea that this can all work out
I have to believe there is a point to all this
This isn’t the end of my story, this is a detour to finding where I truly belong
Pregnancy is possible
Realising your dream is a big journey and I’m just weathering that storm right now but I’m going the right way
This can all come good
One of the things I do for almost all my 1-1 ladies is to create them personalised podcasts / relaxations that are tailored to exactly the combination of facts and beliefs that are individual to them. It’s SO powerful and helpful and it changes the way they feel. You can do this for yourself too, maybe write down a list of all the things that are your latch and read it every day.
Talk yourself through the fears. Are they really true? More likely it’s your protective self trying to stop you going after your dream in case you get hurt along the way.
4) The last thing is to do is to interpret the message the fear feelings are giving you. What is your story here? Why perhaps do things keep happening in a certain way?
We all have an underlying core set of themes we are working on in this lifetime. Part of the work we do at Catching Rainbows seems to be to help women work out their stories.
What is the thing you are wanting or needing to overcome?
Here’s an example: It could be to understand the concept of unconditional love and to learn to accept it for yourself. Often women who are frustrated by their bodies ’not working’ can find this is part of that lesson, or women who have other reasons to be disconnected from their bodies due to things that have happened to them. How can you learn to love yourself despite those feelings, regrets, memories or frustrations? How can you stop hating or pushing away your body / your ovaries / your uterus for what it’s not doing and start showing your maternal love to it?
My own example has been to learn to stop over giving, over stretching, to learn how to receive and how to have equal energy in and out. My compulsion to ‘keep going’ all the time and battle on meant I was always in my overdraft. Mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. The one way my soul knew I would find the strength to overcome it would be if it affected my ability to have a baby. I was riddled with endometriosis and to me it was symbolic of the silent abuse I had continued to pour onto my body and soul. I could have done supplements and castor oil packs til the cows came home but the only thing I knew would really change it was if I learned to give back to myself. To set boundaries, to learn to receive and to expect more for myself.
These themes are always complex and every story is different and beautiful.
I know you know your story. If you don’t then just look at what you have always struggled with the most that shows up all the time. The thing that something inside you knows is uncomfortable and not the right fit. A feeling, a belief, a behaviour.
Let your feelings be your teachers.
It will all come good x x x